That pang you feel right as you remember something lost. Something that could have been, or was but now isn’t. Really comes on suddenly, unwarranted and often unwanted. Reminds you how the mind can be unwieldy. That’s the big moments, when the energy has built up to a point where it has no choice to be experienced consciously. Most of the time it’s maintaining a tension right below the surface, a plane of water prepared to tremble at a disturbance. What follows after: longing, anger, wistful reflection, whatever what was recorded in your mind’s eye at that time.
Invaders. Interrupting your healing process. Ghosts of the imprint that was left on you. They got bad intentions but, you shouldn’t react how you think you should.
Welcome that invader. Open the door for it, show it where all the valuables are, make sure it’s comfy, get it some coffee. Then when you both are settled, talk through it. Why’s it here? What’s it want? How the hell do you make it leave? Communicate with that feeling, and when you know the answer, you make a resolution and swear on your future that you follow through.
This is how you guard your house. Throw better walls up, and things find better ways to get in. Even subconsciously, and that’s when it really gets harder to process, because of the effort required to bring it out. But, where’s the challenge when there’s no walls? When pain is welcomed as another guest rather than an enemy? That’s your weapon: nothing stays for too long. The boundaries are where you build them. What’s allowed to stay? The honesty that knows if you’re not building something that you and your neighbors can be proud of and respect. What stays gets put to work into expanding.
Feels a bit like an alternate meaning for loving your enemies. Growth can’t exist if it’s not contrasted with some transitory period. So, get used to pain, because if you’re going on that journey of evolution you’re going to be doing a lot of growing. And you will be strong.
Happy New Year,